I have been so busy with things going on in my life I haven't had time to write. But now...I really feel I need to take the time. This won't be my usual blog, informative, instructional, etc., but instead I am going to rant...just a little, and I hope you will bear with me.
Disillusionment you say? Yep. My disillusionment comes from what is going on with people in my social world, or actually with peeps in general. Let me expound. I will do this in generalities, but you will get the gist.
For the most part, we all work really hard to get along on social media, as it is not only a place to connect, but a good way to market what we do. We tolerate a little bit of emotional fluctuation from our friends and the little outbursts that come with day to day life situations, because we "are" their friends. We do our best to soothe those of us that aren't feeling well or have had tragedy in their lives. We like to join in the fun and the jokes others present to us, and we respond to each others art positively and constructively. Well...most of us do most of the time.
What I see happening over and over, and not in huge numbers but enough to disturb me, is the attacks that come from inside our group, one against another. Having been a student of psychology, both animal and human, I understand the "whys" of what makes it happens. What I don't understand is just this:
For the life of me, I don't understand what makes people think they have the right to attack or make fun of someone, regardless of who they are or what they are doing. Perfection is illusive to "all" of us, not just some of us. Most of us have become who we are through things that have happened in our lives in our past and/or is genetically driven. Most of that is what makes us good, great, or superior artists. Some of it makes us good business people. Some makes us sensitive and vulnerable. Some of it makes some of us feel entitled and angry, or feel inferior to others.
Some of us use flowery expressive speech, while some of us are strictly Type A and demand the short version of the truth. Some of us are recovering Type A and have learned to love flowery speech, never intending to harm another. So what is the truth? Let's do a short examination of the truth.
Truth is most often used to mean being in accord with fact or reality. The truth is the truth, regardless of how you say it, whether you color it up with adjectives and adverbs or not. It is still the truth if it represents fact or reality...as we see it or know it. But as long as a person isn't purposely misleading someone for whatever personal reason, what's the point in attacking that person. The last time I looked, it was still a free country, and we still have the power of free speech. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to put this to paper, or internet, or blog, or whatever.
Another thing that has brought me to tears recently (and yeah, I'm talkin' real tears here!) is that there are those that join in someone's tirade against one of their (our) own, for whatever reason they use to justify their nonconstructive criticism . And...here's a big one...have you, as a human begin, ever tried to get into another person's skin before you've criticized them? Have you asked pertinent questions to get to know the person you have an issue with? or do you just go off?
Everyone does what the do a certain way for a reason, and before you attack perhaps you should get to know that person better, ask some questions, get to know them to find out what makes them tick, what makes them do the things they do. Maybe they just need approval, maybe they don't feel well, maybe they have issues at home, or maybe they struggle with being financially stable.
Whatever this person has done to irritate you, you have an ethical and moral responsibility to resolve the issue one on one first. I challenge you to be better at this. I challenge you! When something happens that irritates you, sit back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, "Does this person need me in some way? What makes them who they are? What makes them tick? What made they do this thing that rubbed me the wrong way?" If you can't or won't do that, then I challenge to look at your own morality and ethics.
Hey, I've been guilty of it, too. But I try to work hard not to get caught up in this destructive behavior anymore. Do I still get caught up? Yes, if I'm not careful I do, and I hate myself later for it and I try to make it right with those I stupidly wronged. Does that make me think I'm perfect. Heck no!!! But it does put me on a path of less malignant behavior and on a path of more positive, nurturing behavior.
If I could have one thing in this world, it would be for people to foresee how their words or actions can hurt or even emotionally destroy another human being. As artists, most of us are pretty sensitive, so this isn't hard to do. Social media has been a breeding ground that allows negative behavior to spill out all over the place, and it is happening more and more all the time.
People used to have to confront another person face to face if there was an issue. What do you want to bet that confrontations didn't happen very often? Now, with email and social media, those that would spread their venom have a quick and painless (for them) way to spread their negativity all over the place, and they thrive on it, like a dog is attracted to its own vomit. Sorry, that was pretty harsh, but true.
Again, I challenge you all! Before you "like" or comment on something negative, stop yourself and think about what your are doing, and what it might do to another person, one of your "friends," one of your peers. Have you done all you can do to understand who that person is? Have you truly made an effort to get to know that person? or have you chosen a bitter and self-destructive lifestyle that can and will come back to haunt you?
There is an old saying that goes like this: What goes around, comes around. And I can tell you from personal experience...it's true.
I would say my usual Stay Wired Up, but I think that would be disrespectful after all this. Thanks for letting me speak. Comments are welcome, but if they are completely caustic or mention names, they will be deleted. You have the right to right them, but I have the right to get rid of them. Thanks guys!
Disillusionment you say? Yep. My disillusionment comes from what is going on with people in my social world, or actually with peeps in general. Let me expound. I will do this in generalities, but you will get the gist.
For the most part, we all work really hard to get along on social media, as it is not only a place to connect, but a good way to market what we do. We tolerate a little bit of emotional fluctuation from our friends and the little outbursts that come with day to day life situations, because we "are" their friends. We do our best to soothe those of us that aren't feeling well or have had tragedy in their lives. We like to join in the fun and the jokes others present to us, and we respond to each others art positively and constructively. Well...most of us do most of the time.
What I see happening over and over, and not in huge numbers but enough to disturb me, is the attacks that come from inside our group, one against another. Having been a student of psychology, both animal and human, I understand the "whys" of what makes it happens. What I don't understand is just this:
For the life of me, I don't understand what makes people think they have the right to attack or make fun of someone, regardless of who they are or what they are doing. Perfection is illusive to "all" of us, not just some of us. Most of us have become who we are through things that have happened in our lives in our past and/or is genetically driven. Most of that is what makes us good, great, or superior artists. Some of it makes us good business people. Some makes us sensitive and vulnerable. Some of it makes some of us feel entitled and angry, or feel inferior to others.
Some of us use flowery expressive speech, while some of us are strictly Type A and demand the short version of the truth. Some of us are recovering Type A and have learned to love flowery speech, never intending to harm another. So what is the truth? Let's do a short examination of the truth.
Truth is most often used to mean being in accord with fact or reality. The truth is the truth, regardless of how you say it, whether you color it up with adjectives and adverbs or not. It is still the truth if it represents fact or reality...as we see it or know it. But as long as a person isn't purposely misleading someone for whatever personal reason, what's the point in attacking that person. The last time I looked, it was still a free country, and we still have the power of free speech. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to put this to paper, or internet, or blog, or whatever.
Another thing that has brought me to tears recently (and yeah, I'm talkin' real tears here!) is that there are those that join in someone's tirade against one of their (our) own, for whatever reason they use to justify their nonconstructive criticism . And...here's a big one...have you, as a human begin, ever tried to get into another person's skin before you've criticized them? Have you asked pertinent questions to get to know the person you have an issue with? or do you just go off?
Everyone does what the do a certain way for a reason, and before you attack perhaps you should get to know that person better, ask some questions, get to know them to find out what makes them tick, what makes them do the things they do. Maybe they just need approval, maybe they don't feel well, maybe they have issues at home, or maybe they struggle with being financially stable.
Whatever this person has done to irritate you, you have an ethical and moral responsibility to resolve the issue one on one first. I challenge you to be better at this. I challenge you! When something happens that irritates you, sit back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, "Does this person need me in some way? What makes them who they are? What makes them tick? What made they do this thing that rubbed me the wrong way?" If you can't or won't do that, then I challenge to look at your own morality and ethics.
Hey, I've been guilty of it, too. But I try to work hard not to get caught up in this destructive behavior anymore. Do I still get caught up? Yes, if I'm not careful I do, and I hate myself later for it and I try to make it right with those I stupidly wronged. Does that make me think I'm perfect. Heck no!!! But it does put me on a path of less malignant behavior and on a path of more positive, nurturing behavior.
If I could have one thing in this world, it would be for people to foresee how their words or actions can hurt or even emotionally destroy another human being. As artists, most of us are pretty sensitive, so this isn't hard to do. Social media has been a breeding ground that allows negative behavior to spill out all over the place, and it is happening more and more all the time.
People used to have to confront another person face to face if there was an issue. What do you want to bet that confrontations didn't happen very often? Now, with email and social media, those that would spread their venom have a quick and painless (for them) way to spread their negativity all over the place, and they thrive on it, like a dog is attracted to its own vomit. Sorry, that was pretty harsh, but true.
Again, I challenge you all! Before you "like" or comment on something negative, stop yourself and think about what your are doing, and what it might do to another person, one of your "friends," one of your peers. Have you done all you can do to understand who that person is? Have you truly made an effort to get to know that person? or have you chosen a bitter and self-destructive lifestyle that can and will come back to haunt you?
There is an old saying that goes like this: What goes around, comes around. And I can tell you from personal experience...it's true.
I would say my usual Stay Wired Up, but I think that would be disrespectful after all this. Thanks for letting me speak. Comments are welcome, but if they are completely caustic or mention names, they will be deleted. You have the right to right them, but I have the right to get rid of them. Thanks guys!
Though I do try to be diplomatic in most cases and tend to ride on the fence in fear of hurting someone's feelings or sounding superior, I am in total agreement with the content in this blog of Gail's. I am new to social media and very disappointed by some of the negativity I witness. I find it no different than the little cliques that form among a group of people. They take pleasure in spiteful little comments about another person who does not 'fit' in.
ReplyDeleteI am new to the art of wire wrapping and, as such, am spurred on by the kind comments by a select (very small) group of other artists. I expect those that say/write nothing are not very impressed by my efforts. Oh, well. Constructive criticism is always preferable to dead silence as far as I am concerned. However, I also believe that old saying "If you can't say something kind or good, say nothing at all." You are not able to hear how words are being said in here. The inflections, etc. That being said, I find myself being very careful in how I word things on social media. Face to face, eye to eye, you would know that I say everything in the kindest of ways. As Gail stated, as artists we tend to be very sensitive people. Most of us prefer our studios and solitude to groups of people and chaos. I am happiest when alone and creating. I have always been that way and suppose I am too old to change. I find comfort in doing what I do and enjoy being part of a social media group who have something in common that I can share with. As artists, we should be supporting each other without pettiness or jealousy or superiority. We are all on the same bus but heading to our own destinations in our artwork. Some of us are still at the bus stop trying to determine our destinations and the direction we want to take. The bottom line is this...if you are not a team player and cannot find it in your heart to be kind and supportive of one another, it is time for you to take a look at yourself and find what drives you to be the person you are. If you can't, find another bus line.
A very interesting introduction to your blog, this is my first visit. While there have always been critical or cruel remarks tossed around, there is no time in human history when those remarks can be disseminated so easily, widely, and anonymously. Trolls deliberately make provocative remarks with the specific intent to cause arguments. Crazy. Communication has become so dehumanized I think we all need to work extra hard to maintain civility.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Liz, for ;your comment. You are so right. And...I won't be writing about this type of thing again...I hope! Hugs!
DeleteSocial media also breeds the idea that I can say or do what I please. Even if it is not true. And how many have been blocked while trying to find out the truth. Artists as a whole lean to embelishment. But in some areas that same artistic embelishment leads others to think that something has more value than it does. There is a fine line between embelishment and a lie. I personally prefer the unvarnished truth. Where every thing is clear & honest. And have no problem with those who help those of us that don't know the difference. Too many stay on the sidelines and don't speak up when someone is being taken advantage of because of the fear of retaliation from the one who is pushing their product. The same person that blocks anyone who dares to question them. Can't blame the person that speaks out then.
ReplyDelete